Time Takes Us All, So Why Am I Not Just Living For Today?

Question...
By Panicfanatic0421
Based on the song Question by Old 97's 

"Fine then, leave! He can have you! I don't care anymore!" I screamed at my boyfriend. "Fine. I will. He's better than you anyway," he said like a little kid, and walked out the door without another word. I screamed in desspiration. He was my life, my everything and now he's left me for another man.
 
   I woke up screaming. I've been having these dreams for the past week now. My boyfriend of 2 years has been acting really odd lately. He's been leaving early saying hes gotten called in early, and when i call the office to make sure he got in safe, they say, "He's not due in until later." He's always been runing earins and acting very nervous around me. I can't think of what else could be happening. 
   "Whats the matter handsome?" He had came into the room after a screamed, "Why were you screaming?"
   "Bad dreams, they won't stop..." I whispered. I knew what was coming next.
   "What are you dreaming about Gee bear?" How was I to answer that? I couldn't tell him that I suspected him of cheating on me..
   "They were coming to get me again, the needles. They were trying to stab me Frankie!" He giggled at my answer but hugged me. There was something loose about this hug though, something off.
   "What's the matter?" I asked. I dont know why, but he seemed very nervous. Why is that? There's that suspision again.
   "N-nothing. Why do you ask?" Nerves.
   "Oh, okay. Just checking." I rolled back over in bed covering my head with the comforter. I didn't like this, he was being to shady.
   "No no no sir. We're going out today!" Oh! Ok? Why? He's making me get out of bed though... sigh. I suppose I'll go. At least I'll get to spend some time with my man before he drops me for whoever.
   "Grr. Fine. I'll be out in a little bit." I got up and went to my closet... hmm. What to wear? This very well may be the day my man leaves me for someone else. So shall I dress for his regret, or for my pain? His regret deffinitly. I put on the TIGHEST pair of jeans I own and my best shirt. I went into the bathroom and did my makeup best as I could and made my hair look perfect. I sound like such a girl, but I wanted him to regret what he was about to do to me.
   Once I got down stairs his mouth fell open. Bingo. Regret. I'm oddly liking this. "Wow, Gerard. You look great." He choked out. I simply smiled at him and he took my arm. "We're going to the park today."
   Oh fun. He dumps me at the very place he met me... I wonder if the other guy is waiting for him there. "Okay sounds great, babe." I kissed him lightly on the cheek and felt these fucking tears well up in my eyes. No. You are not crying. He's about to do something terrible to you.
   We walked arm and arm all the way to the park and sat on the bench where we used to hang out in high school. We always liked each other, but we only stared going out after we graduated. The day he asked me out had been the best day of my life.

   I'd gotten a note from Frankie on my doorstep today:
              Meet me at the bench @ 6. ~Frank
   I re-read it over and over again as I sat on the uncomfortable wood bench where we've sat together so many times. I studied his hand writing the loops of his "e"s and the way the ink seeped into the page. 
  I've liked Frank ever since I met him in 1st grade. Mrs. Farret's class. I sat behind him and was always mesmerized by the back of his head, that and the fact that he was the only one with the 72 pack of crayons! (Those things were the shit!)
  I lifted my head and saw him walking towards me, the sunshine radiating around him from behind. He looked like an absolute angel. I stood up to greet him with a hug and we sat down together.
   "So, what's up?" I asked nervously, intimidated by his looks as I always was.
   "Well.. um... I wanted to ask you some thing," he smiled slightly.
   "Shoot." My voice trembled and my heart beat a thousand times faster than it should. Could this be what I've been waiting for?
   He took a deep breath before words poured uncomprehsivly from his mouth, "Willyougooutwithme?" I tilted my head to the side in confusion. He cleared his throat and said each word as a seperate sentence, "Will. You. Go. Out. With. Me?" 
   I sqealed. Litterally. I jumped up and tackled him right there on the bench and kissed him sweetly. I pulled back giggling.
   "I guess thats a yes?" he smiled staring into my eyes.
   "YES!" I laughed kissing him again.

   My stomache churned as the memory went through my head.
   He took a big breath in and turned to me. Here it comes. "Gerard, I've known you since I was very young and I've loved you for as long as I can remember. And today is our aniversery, but.." I crossed my arms and closed my eyes. Just say it!
   "Listen Frank, why dont you ju-," I opened my eyes and he was down infront of me on one knee.
   "Gerard Arthur Way? I have a question.. Will... you marry me?" I started to cry, but in a good way.
   "Oh Frank! Of course I'll marry you!" He sliped the ring on my finger, tears in his own eyes. He stood up and kissed me in the most passionate way. He held my hand tight and pulled me up from the bench and we headed back home.
  We took the long way, all the way through the park. Tears never left my eyes, I've never been happier in my life.

Ewww!! posting is so odd now!!! Hello all!! its been.. months. Oops. :/ I bet you all hate me now!! *sob* But, Im writing this as I go now. No pre- writen emails. and from now on, Its by just me. Wish me luck! <3 you all!

Even if it kills me
By me (panicfanatic0421) and my BFF Ashley!!(panicfanatic320)

Chapter 20

Brendon's POV: Ryan pulled in at our house not even taking the time to park properly. We all helped carry in the multiple bags of goodies. I ran down to the basement puling out old flashing and bright lights, a stobe, and a fog machine. "Its gonna be like a rave with candy instead of drugs!" Ry smiled at me. God his smile was gorgeous. I leaned in and kissed him lightly as Ashley let out a huge "Awwwhh!!!"

Ryan's POV: My cheeks began burning red and Bren stuck his tongue out at her. She just shrugged and walked over to the stereo. I followed right behind her as to approve of the party music. She went searching through all the cds. I sneeked in my copy of Hot Mes, turned the volue all the way up, and pressed play. Ashley nearly jumped out of her skin when the speakers began booming next to her head. Suddenly i felt two large hands on my hips and I swear I melted. He pulled me close to him and I decided I was going to have some fun. I slowly started grinding my hips rubbing my ass up against him.

Brendon's POV: I had to use all my strength to not let a moan slip through my lips. I held him tight against my moving my hips with his as the energy between us hightened. Ashley giggled at us and ran up stairs to call some friends to come. Ry turned around to face me and i grinded up close to him blushing. The music boomed through the room and I felt the bass in my chest, it made it all more exciting. I grabbed his ass pulling him closer and he let his head fall back in pleasure. Once his head ruturned to facing me, I let my lips meet his passionatly.

Ryan's POV: Brendons warm full lips felt so right on my thin ones. I opened my mouth, inviting him in. our tungues danced as heatedly as our bodys. Just as it was getting good the door bell went off repeatedly before people piled in. I never knew we had this many friends until now. We pulled apart reluctantly and greeted our friends. Everyone was happy to see us.

Ashley's POV: Damn those two look adorable together. It would be insane to think that they werent in love. I watched them roam around the room and i saw a weird bump in brendons pocket. Oh my god. Is that a... ring box!? Serious!? Without thinking I let out a huge "Awwwwhhh!!" and everyone looked at me. "theyre just so cute!" i smiled back. some people looked at me funny, some giggled, and others agreed with me. I sighed quietly feeling kinda jelous. then i felt a slight tap on my shoulder. I turned around seeing Jersey blushing holding out his hand. I smiled and took his hand in mine feeling my cheeks burn hot.

Brendons POV: Me and ryan looked over at ashley dancing with Jersey, they looked so cute together. I wishpered in Cassadee's ear to pass on the everyone to "awh" on the count of three. "1!, 2!, 3!" I yelled and the whole room erupted in a group "AWH" around the cute new couple. I giggled and turned my eyes back to ryan smiling big. I think its the right time now.. I dropped down to my knee looking up at him. Slowly I pulled the small velvet box from my pocket. I opened it exposing the diamond ring and held it up to him. "George Ryan Ross, Im in love with you. I want to spend the rest of forever with you. Will you marry me?"

Ryan's POV: I didnt know whether to squeel, or cry, all i know is i all but screamed "YES!" after the initial shock passed. He came up off his knee and pulled me close enough to feel his heart and we kissed more passionatly than we ever have. I pulled back breathless. "I fucking love you" i giggled happily. And... I guess you could say we lived happily ever after.

THE END!!!!!!!!!

I reeeeeeeeally hope you loved this! im gonna post a one-shot tomorrow. I hope you like :]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR ASHLEEEEY!!!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOU!!!!

Shank me for taking so long! so so sorry guys! But here it is!!! Chapter 19!
I think its deffinitly gotten out of a story line, but went i continue actually WRITING it, ill try to get it on one =]

Even if it kills me
By me (panicfanatic0421) and my BFF Ashley!!(panicfanatic320)

Chapter 19

Brendon's POV: Ryan pulled away, and I knew he was right. We can go to the supermarket pick-maybe pickup Ashley. We got in the car and drove off. Next thing I knew we pulled up at Ashley's house in the pouring rain. She was standing on her porch in a black rain coat, rain hat, and rain boots.  It was funny to see a 20 year old girl in an outfit that would normally be for little girls. I couldn't help but laugh, and Ryan joined in.

Ryan's POV: "Whats so funny?" She asked quite calmly as she got in the back of the car. "You look like a five year old!" Bren laughed. "Oh shut up!! I think I looks cute." She crossesd her arms across her chest and stuck her tougne out. "You look very cute Ash. Now all you need is some piggy tails!!!" She gave me the death glare and I looked back at the street pulling away from the house. A huge bolt of lightning appeared in the sky and both Ashley and Brendon were looking out at the sky in excitment. Wow my frineds are nuts.

Ashley's POV: I swear, these boys could drain the world of red bull and poptarts. I watched a Ryan scooped just about every box of chocolate chip poptarts off the shelf and into the cart that was already half full with boxes of red bull. "Dude, how are you gonna eat all those!?" I asked and they looked at me with crazed smiles. "Oh, we will!!!" Brendon said before rolling the cart off towards the candy section. I, on the other hand, headed over to the magazin rack to get the new issue of AP.

Brendon's POV: I piled all the gummi candy I could into the cart and Ryan stared, kind of confused. "What is it Ry??" I asked wondering what could be so confusing about candy."How we gonna pay for all this?" he asked and I smiled and pulled a wad of cash out of my pocket. "Christmases, birthdays, and all that. Saving money really pays off." I wasn't about to tell him that I had sold my collection of modle cars to go shopping with. I smiled big at him and we went to check out. It all came to about $150 and the cashier gave us a mean look the whole time she rang us up. Me and Ryan just had huge smiles on our faces.

Ryan's POV: We ran out into the rain with the cart and piled every thing into the trunk. I got into the drivers seat and Brendon got in beside me, then I realized... we forgot Ashley. I drove up to the store to find her standing there in her rain coat with one small bag clutched in her hand. She got in and crossed her arms, "Geez, just forget about me why don't ya!" She smiled and we all started to laugh. This is gonna be a fun day.

i had to put the pic on here cuz idk how to save those things.. idek if itll show up but... its the PATD drum line xD

Working on a new story (AND ITS NOT A RYDEN O.o!!!)!!! ( in other words ... this ones drawing to an end guys =[ )

HAD to edit this.. some of it didnt make sense from typos haha!!

Even if it kills me
By me (panicfanatic0421) and my BFF Ashley!!(panicfanatic320)

Chapter 18 ***WARNING--- "CONTENT"

Brendon's POV: He knew how to make me crack. He got the movements perfect, and made me want more. Then when I wrapped my arms around his waist, that did it. I kept hammering into him harder and faster, making his breathing quicken and taking mine away. I pressed down a few more times and I could feel his entire body tighten, including his ass. This made me push into him even harder. "Bren,i-i-im GONNA,” he cut off and screamed and moaned at the top of his lungs. I joined in as my body felt what was happening.
 
Ryan's POV: I shot my hot cum all over him, feeling kinda guilty at first until felt his arms tense around my waist, then felt a rush of heat hit inside of me. I leaned over onto him, tired and so very happy. He kissed me lightly and helped me off of him. He layed us down on a pillow, that had wound up on the floor. He slid my back closer to him. Leaving just enough room for him to run his hot smooth fingers up and down my bare back. He started to hum softly, lulling me into a very joyous sleep. Still feeling the warmth and love coming off of his sexy body.

Brendon's POV: I woke up to the soothing sound of Ryan's light breathing. I noticed I was naked and instantly felt my cheeks go red. I don't know why, no one else was there, just me and Ryan. Damn, he looks so cute fast asleep. All of the sudden a loud snore came from him that scared me backwards off the bed. I feel on my ass with a huge 'THUD'. "Fuck," I whispered, eyes closed rubbing my butt. I opened my eyes to see Ryan staring down at me. I instantly felt the heat in my cheeks again as I stood up quickly.

Ryan's POV: I wasn't about to tell him that I did that on porpuse. I giggled lightly as he rubbed his butt with a disgruntled {heehee big word!} look on his face. "Aww, Bren. Did you go boom?" I laughed. "Shut your pretty little face up," he smiled. I took his hand and pulled him up onto the bed. He quickly pulled the covers over himself and I laughed at his shyness. "So what are we going to do today Mr. Urie?" I asked through the smile that seemed to be glued to my face. "Well, Mr. Ross, I thought maybe you, Ashley, and I could have an all out video-game-junk-food-par-tay!"

Brendon's POV: I thought a party would be great to make every one happier. I knew it would take my mind off of things for a while. "Sure Mr. Urie! Would you like to accompany me on the great journey to the super market?" He had this huge goofy smile on his face that made me melt. "Ok, only if I can get dressed first!!" I jumped up and went to dress myself for todays great 'adventure!'

Woooo!! More unedited fun! haha xD Mid terms tomorrow! DX WISH ME LUCK!

Gettin to the end of where i wrote... need to write more sooon!
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Even if it kills me
By me (panicfanatic0421) and my BFF Ashley!!(panicfanatic320)

Chapter 17 ***WARNING--- "CONTENT"

Brendon's POV: We had gotten to leave the clinic for about a week... some kind of experiment i dont know. But it made me happy. Ashley dropped me and Ry off at my house and we said bye to her. We went in the house and I grabbed us each some ice cream. "Go sit on the sofa and we can watch a movie." I said holding the ice cream up so he could see it. He smiled big and scurried over to sit down and began to watch Aladin. I laughed at him and placed his bowl in his lap, lightly brushing his upper leg with the back of my hand. He twitched at my touch and I tried not to giggle.

Ryan's POV: Shit. Now im horny. Not that i have a problem with that, maybe he is too. I smirked to myself and began to slowly eat my ice cream. I looked over at brendon who hadnt really paid attention to my attempt at being seductive, he had ice cream all over his face and I couldnt help but laugh. "What?" he asked, and i smirked. "Here, let me help you with that," I leaned over to him and licked the ice cream off his cheeks and nose before kissing him passionitly. He kissed back and we both threw our ice cream bowls on the ground. In a second I was laying down on the sofa with him on top of me, our lips still conected. I wrapped my arms around his waist and his hands began to pull my shirt up over my head.

Brendon's POV: His skin, like always, was soft and hot. I kissed his chest lightly. Leaving a sticky mark of ice cream in the shape of my lips. Ryan giggled lightly to himself. I looked up to him and he slid his hand softly through his beautiful hair. This made me sigh. The breeze against his skin gave him goose bumps. I scooted back up to him and nibbled at his neck lightly. “I love you,” he whispered shyly in my ear. I pulled myself away from him and held myself up over him. “and I love you,” I said. I pushed back into a kiss and I felt his tongue find its way into my mouth. As our tongues danced around he started to work my belt off.

Ryan's POV: I pulled away, as best as I good, and from underneath him I undid his belt. I looked up to him and seductively bit my lip. I felt his pelvis grind into me with a low moan building in his throat. This made me feel my pants tent higher. I slowly slid his belt out as if to tease him. As I did this he closed his eyes and groaned my name lowly. When the belt was removed, I went to work on his buttons, but he had another plan. He almost ripped open my own jeans with one motion of his hand. As his hand ran across my boxers I felt this need building in me.

Brendon's POV: I didn’t have any fucking clue what came over me. Maybe it was the love, or maybe even the lust, but whatever it was, I felt it. Before I knew it he was fully undressed with me still clothed in full. He pulled off my shirt and threw it to the floor. He connected my lips to his one more and I felt him moan into my mouth. Still kissing, he slowly slid his hands onto the sides of my hips, and then sliding them under the waistband of my jeans. He slid them off of me without even coming close to losing grip on my lips. He then wriggled me out of my boxers. I was now making out with an amazing person, completely naked, and also loving me. I was in pure elation.

Ryan's POV: He finally was undressed and laying on top of me. We were hot sticky and sweaty, but I really don't think he or myself minded much. It was only making me hornier. I wrapped my arms around his neck and started to run my fingers down his back. I started at his neck slowly moving to his spine then to his hips then finally to his ass. It was so soft and so amazing. This made bren buck his pelvis into mine, Pulling our lips away from each other immediately. He looked down at me and had a look in his eyes. Part of me wanted to jump into them and another part of me wanted to tie him up and…well you get the picture.

Brendon's POV:  I rubbed my hands down his chest just slowly enough to make him groan. He looked up at me in a longing way. “I want you,” he mouthed to me. Then he turned me over with all of his forces. He was now on top. I closed my eyes anticipating the pleasure to come. I suddenly felt a hot wave shoot over my cock. He moaned and panted and kept on sucking. It was making me hot and jealous. I wanted some too. He started getting faster and deeper, and I started to push into his mouth in a rythmic pattern. He felt me get close and slowly slid off of me. Licking his lips he said, “your turn.”

Ight Guys I have been gone for a damn long time! Ive got like 100 favs built up and i sure as hell aint checkin them at 1:30 am. I havent posted a chap inn a LONG time ad i feel bad! Im so sorry guys. AND HOLY SHIT! Makeover!! Its all weird when i came on im like WTF?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYWAY! Ill prolly be on hiatus til around like.. january. I will leave u guys with a long chapter tho and im gonna need to write more im about up to where i last wrote. i really love all of the positivity ive gotten from everyone! Thanks oh so much! Happy holidays!! I hope you all have a white (insert celebrated holiday here)! I CANT WAIT TO GET MY GEETAR!! XD haha.

Here it is. Unedited (cuz im lazy and tired and had coffee but caffine DOESN'T HELP ME!) in its original form of AWESOMENESS CHAPTER 16!!

Ight I love you all!!! <3333 XOXO-SUMMER
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Even if it kills me
By me (panicfanatic0421) and my BFF Ashley!!(panicfanatic320)

Chapter 16

Sorry It took me so long to get up another chapter. Been kinda busy =/
But anyway.. ENJOY!
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Even if it kills me
By me (panicfanatic0421) and my BFF Ashley!!(panicfanatic320)

Chapter 15

Brendon's POV: I stood looking in the mirror. I wiped the lint of my suit jaket and ran my hand through my gelled back hair. I felt the sting of tears then hot steams down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away and felt Ryans arms snake around my waist. He put his head on my shoulder and kissed my neck. He looked amazing beautiful, all dressed up. Another tear fell from my eye and he kissed it softly. "It's okay baby. She's in a better place now." I knew that. Everyone said that. That's all I've heard, but she was my best friend besides Ryan. I miss her. I wanted to punch the asshole that broke her heart. She was staying clean and healthy and he just wanted a high buddy and a good fuck. That son of a bitch.

Ryan's POV: After picking up Ashley, we got into the car and headed off. We got to the funeral and Brendon started crying more. "Shh, baby. Its ok." I kept telling him, even though I knew it wasn't. We were all crying, we all knew that nothing was fine. We got out of the car and headed to our seats in the front. Everyone was crying or praying. The coffin lay open on a table in the front of everyone. Brendon was crying into my shoulder as I tried to suppress tears, to stay strong, for him. Ashley was on the other side of me holding my hand and crying as well. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I started crying as well. Then I saw a tall boy in a hoodie with a beer in hand, walk up to the coffin smirking.

Brendon's POV: Tyler. Tyler stood looking at her, smiling. That son of a BITCH! I stood up wiping the tears from my eyes and raging towards him. I spun him aroung by the shoulder and threw my fist straight into his nose. Blood splattered all over my knouckles and his face. It took him a minute to get back up but he did. Before I could get at him again, I felt a fist slam into my cheek. "Stupid fag," he said as I fell back. "Oh you mother fucker." I got up fast and tackled him to the ground. I sat on him and just kept punching him. I wanted him to die. I wanted him to fucking die. Then I felt two familiar arms pulling me off of the piece of shit laying on the ground, now bleeding and cowering.

Ryan's POV: I pulled a histerical Brendon off of the douche bag. The guests at the funeral were all staring at the scene. Tyler was laying on the floor uconsious but still breathing. I sat me and Brendon down on the platform that the coffin was on. He fell into my chest blood running everywhere, but I didnt care. I just sat there and rubbed his back, "Shh, it's ok," I lied over and over almost convincing myself it was true. He tightened his grip around my waist and he cried harder. I tried to again keep back the tears0, but who was I kidding? The heat rushed down my face as I leaned my body over Brendon crying too.

Ashley's POV: I watched from my chair Ryan and Brendon breaking down. I rubbed my bandaged arms and looked down at the ground. I was apart of this mess, but for once, I didn't think how I could invent a new easier way of killing myself. Instead I stood up and walked over to Ryan and Brendon and grabbed both of their hands. They both looked up at me, soaked in blood and tears. "Lets clean you two up and come back later to say goodbye to her," I whispered softly to them. They shook their heads in agreeance. We stood up and walked off slowly to the car.

Brendon's POV: As we walked back Ryan still had a comforting grip on my waist. I felt light headed cause of the blood I had lost and I felt tired cause I beat the living shit out of that asshole. I kept my head nustled in Ryan's chest and I grabbed his free hand with mine. We entertwined our fingers and I felt a tear fall on my hand. Only this time when I looked at Ryan it wasn't him. That was when the rain started to fall. They say that when rain falls, it washes away your troubles. It didn't today, but man did it feel good on my face.

Im soooo sorry that i didnt post the next day! Dx BUUT ITS HERE NOW!! So SMILE!!! lol enjoy!!!
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Even if it kills me
By me (panicfanatic0421) and my BFF Ashley!!(panicfanatic320)

Chapter 14 (long chapter my loverlys!)

Brendon's POV: I stood up and got my phone. I opened it and put it to my ear figuring it would be Summer. "Hey-yo!" I said happily. Some man with a very official sounding voice said, "Mr. Brendon Urie?" "Yeah?" I asked now concered. "Im sorry, but Summer was found dead on her bed today. She died of over dose." I hung up. I couldn't believe it. I broke. I started crying so hard and Ryan tried to ask me what was wrong, but I couldnt answer. I fell to the ground and cried into my hands. Why'd she have to go and do that? I was sobbing now and Ryan just came and sat with me. He didn't try and ask me whats wrong, he just held me close as I cried on his shoulder.

Ryan's POV: It was killing me to see him like this, but I just had to try and calm him down. "Shhh, Bren. I'm here. Shhh." I didnt know what to say. I couldn't ask him what was wrong until he calmed down. He soon stopped crying and told me what had happened, "She died Ry. She killed herself. All because of that stupid cunt Tyler. Ryan... she's dead!" He started sobbing again as I started crying. A few moments later a nurse walked in.

Xo What happened? I lost like... half my readers... but it's its what ever. Im happy i have the readers that I do!! You guys rock!! Thank you all for the comments and buzzes!! <33 oX
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Even if it kills me
By me (panicfanatic0421) and my BFF Ashley!!(panicfanatic320)

Chapter 13 {short chapter sorrys}

Ryan's POV: I woke up in my room. My head was aching. I felt like I was having a hangover from way to much alcohol. I rolled over and there, sleeping besides me, was Brendon. He was beautiful. His pale skin so clear and perfect. His chest just moved up and down slightly as he breathed. He looked so calm. I laid my head on his chest and wrapped my arm around his body. This must've woke him up because his hand came up and rubbed my cheek slowly and softly.

Brendon's POV: He looked up at me. He had clear eyes and looked actually happy. I slid down so that I was face to face with him. We were both underneath the sheet. "I love you," he said so quiet that only I could hear him. "I love you too," I said putting my arm around his waist. We were pushed together, our faces just inches away from each other. "Please never do that again," I said to him. "I didn't mean to kiss her it was just," I stopped his rambling with my lips.

Ryan's POV: He slid his tongue into my mouth. It felt so right. He took his free hand and twisted it in my hair. I wrapped my hands around his waist and deepened the kiss. He rolled me on top of him. I moved my hands from his waist into his hair. I wanted to take off his clothes and make love to him right then, but it didn't feel right. I had this sense of tension. Not from here but from somewhere else.

Brendon's POV: He pulled away from me. Thank god he did or his clothes would have been off before he could say yahoo. He moved back to my side and I pushed the sheet off of us. He took a deep breath in and then exhaled. "How is she," he asked quietly. "Shes fine," I lied. "Please, don't lie to me," Ryan whispered, "I want to know." I took a deep breath in. "She is technicaly in a coma, but that's only because of the amount of blood lost, but once she get the right amount of blood shell be back to new." All or a sudden I found Ryan ontop of me kissing me again. It literaly took my breath away.

Ryan's POV: I don't know why I did it, but I needed to show him that I really loved him. He stayed here with me. Any normal person would leave me. I pulled away. "I love you. I really do. And I appreciate every fucking thing you have done for me." thats when his cell phone went off from his bag on the floor.

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Who could it be!? Who's calling!? Find out... TOMORROW!

xD Comments? Buzzes? Yep I love em! Im pretty sure tomorrow will hold a slightly long chapter so get ready for the "awesomeness" of our... pretty sad story lol

IM ACTUALLY GONNA EDIT IT THIS TIME!! lmao!!!

Chapter 12 {Bitchesss!! lmao}

Summer's POV: I kept dreaming of blackness. Of stupid memories of me and him. I saw me and him on the beach, our first date, then everything went black. I was walking through complete darkness. Then he was right infront of me. He raised his fist and brought it hard to my hip. I screamed and sat up in my bed. Brendon jumped in the seat he apparently had fallen asleep in. I rubbed the bruise on my hip and groaned. My closed my eyes tight and the tears fell fast. Brendon was at my side quickly. He put his arms around me and I hugged him tight. His hoodie still had my masscara all over it and I felt bad. I probably ruined his favorite hoodie. "Shh, Summer. It's gonna be ok. Everything is fine." He rubbed my back lightly trying to calm me. It didn't work. All I could think was it's not gonna be fine, nothing is going to be fine. He was my everything. The reason I was still alive. "He helped me after I got here. Bren? Did I ever tell you why I was here?"

Brendon's POV: I didn't remember having heard Summer's story, "No, I don't think so." She looked up at me and slowly began. "My parents never got along. It was always like that. But then I got older and it got worse. They always fought. My dad would beat my mom and break things. I would yell as they fought, but they'd never listen. One night, it got really bad. They were arguing about the house, and how we had no money. Then they started talking about me, at the time I was 15. My dad was telling my mom I was a fuck up. That I couldn't do anything right. I was crying in the corner of the room. He looked over and saw me and I looked him in the eyes. 'You're a stupid fucking useless waste of air' he said to me." She stopped and wiped a few tears from her eyes, "He picked the vase up off the coffee table and threw it at me. It hit me right in the head. I was bleeding all over and my mother flipped. While he sat there watching me bleed she ran and got the shot gun. She shot him... then herself. Right infront of me. I had to move in with my grandparents. I started using while I was there, and I got addicted. Then, there was this guy I really liked. He seemed to understand what I've gone through. I felt like he was the one. So I went to his house one night, he said we were just gonna watch a movie in his room. Then all the sudden, he put his hand over my mouth and said 'Don't make a sound'. He raped me right there in his room with his parents downstairs. He made me leave through his bedroom window when he was done with me. The next day, my grandmother was diagnosed with oldtimers and I didn't know what the hell to do with my life. I felt like there was nothing for me here. Like I really was just a stupid fucking useless waste of air. So I cut myself. I tried to kill myself." I was cying now and I held her close. "I'm so sorry."

Summer's POV: Now I made him cry. I'm a shitty person. I told him I'd be alright and got him to leave after about half an nhour. I layed down on my bed and cried. I just upset my best friend. I didn't know what to do now. This was the second time someone broke my heart, but this time it was worse. He was my everything. The air I breath. The blood that pumps through my vains. I didn't see a reason to live anymore. I went into the bathroom and grabbed my antidepressants off the shelf. I slowly opened the bottle and poured about 15 into my hand. I took them two at a time with a cup of water until I got to the last one. "Goodbye," I whispered and swallowd it down. I went and layed in my bed until all feeling left my body and my mind went black.

Ryan's POV: As I was running out the door, iI litteraly ran into Brendon, sending me backwards onto the ground. He helped me up and we looked at each other. And just like Ashley had done to me, I wrapped my arms around him tight. I didn't want to let go. I felt guilty for kissing Ashley, yet I didnt. I felt guilty for letting her run off and not stopping her sooner. "I killed her Brendon. I know she's gonna want to die." I said into his chest through sobs. Luckily we were outside so none of the stupid nurses would ask what's wrong. "What," Brendon asked concerned. "I cant let this happen," I screamed pulling away.

Brendon's POV: Before I could let him run off, I grabbed his arm and pulled him to me. I wiped his tears away and pushed the hair out of his face. He was sticky and sweaty, and I was concerned. "What's wrong?" I asked. "I'll tell you, but we have to walk fast," Ryan said, already starting to move. Then he began, "I hate myself Bren. I went to her room to find her mirror smashed, her knuckles bleeding, basicaly her entire room trashed... and then... I kissed her," this made me stop and he just fell to the ground in a fit of tears. At first, I wanted to run the other direction and leave him. I felt hurt, but then I looked at him. I fell next to him. "It's ok, Ry," I whispered into his ear, "I know you were just..." I couldn't think of how to say it but I understood.

Ryan's POV: He helped me up and I started explaining again. "Then she ran... and I let her fucking go." I said, tears not stopping. I kept walking faster and faster it was and i think brendon was having trouble keeping up. But i couldnt stop if i did i would try to find any sharp object and slit my throat. I then found a piece of ashleys tank top bloody and torn. Then i looked around and saw that brendon was now running down an alley way. "Ryan," he screamed out to me. I ran to him to see ashley laying there. She had cut im sorry into her arms over and over then she slit her wrists deep. "bre-bren," i fell to my knees and could hear brendon call 911. Then all of a sudden everything went dark and i heard his voice. "I love you ryan, please dont leave me," brendon said through what i though were tears.

____________________________________________________________________________
Ok ok so i only HALF edited it... shane dawson was on LIVE! he said my name TWICE! lmao... he made funn of my name... =[ ooooooh well HE STILL SAID HE LOVED ME!! XD hahaha

Where is the weirdest place you have a mole?
idk actually xp

Have you ever made out in a movie theater?
Nope ive kissed... not made out

Do you have any piercings?
my ears i want my lip and eye brow done though

What's the strangest talent you have?
i dont have any xD

Have you ever had two dates in one night?
nope

How old are you?
14 years young

Is there one thing all of your ex's have had in common?
total assholes?

Something you really enjoy from the opposite sex?
=O THAT SOUNDS NAUGHTY!! lol
A sweet funny guy

Did you french kiss before you were 16?
=[ nope

Who is the last person you think about before you fall asleep?
i dont think too much about people... just what ever song is on... but the last person i think about is usually ashley

Have you ever had a poem or a song written about you?
pshhh nope

What's the weirdest thing you have done while driving?
I dont drive

Name something you do when you're alone?
BLAST music

Where was your default pic taken?
on a cruise ship in my cabin in the window

What is your current mood?
umm... idk really

Where do you wish you were right now?
Florida

Ever had a near death experience?
Idts

What's stopping you from going for the person you like?
Um.. i dont like anyone at the moment... the guy i like lives on the other side of the country!

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
RonJon's Surfshop in florida

Who is your friend that lives closest to you?
Danni

What is your natural hair color?
Brown

Who was the last person to make you laugh?
my mama

About how many times a day do you pick a wedgie?
Ill go wit brianne on this one.. TMI

Do you have any strange phobias?
Not really
I LOVE TOKIO HOTEL!!! *huff

Have you ever called your bf/gf by another girl/guys name?
BAHAHHA YES! i covered it up tho he didnt hear me xD

Have you ever been drunk at work?
dont work.. never been drunk anyway

Do you want to bring sexy back?
Brendon Urie already has!

If something was wrong,who is the first boy you would go to?
.... no one?

If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
DUUUHHH

Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
Dunno maaybe

How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
none

What’s your hair look like today?
Up in a pony tail, fringe in face... as usual

Do you think you can last in a relationship for three months?
Somehow i did once
Nd i think.. if the guy was right.. i could do it again

Could you go out in public looking like you do now?
Yeah. i have already

Where is your boy/girl tonight?
I HOPE HE IS A GENTELMEN!

Last place you held hands with someone? Who was it?
Nikki, yesterday, school, she was upset cuz she thought this guy died

Name something you did yesterday?
Umm went to school;; Walked in the rain;; DID HOMEWORK!!! XD

What color are your eyes?
Brown

What color is your hair?
Brown

Best friend?
Ashley Nicole Hoppen

Is anyone jealous of you?
If they are they're insane

Is your hair naturally curly or straight?
curly-ish

Do a lot of people think bad things about you?
idk if they do idfc

Have you ever been punched?
Playfully

When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
Today

Ever receive a really long apology?
idts

Honestly, has anyone ever seen you in your underwear?
mhmm

Would you date someone 8 years older than you?
YEEERRPP!!!

Are you anything like you were at this point last year?
last year...? prolly. a year and a half ago not at all.

Do you think you will be in a relationship three months from now?
doubt it... no one likes me

This time last year, what was your love life like?
non-existant? OH WAIT!!! I think i was dating JAY!

If you could move somewhere else, would you, and where would you move?
i would id move to florida

If you won A LOT of money? what would you buy first?
a plane ticket outta here!

Have you ever wished you had a different last name?
nope

Do you wear a lot of black?
mmmhmmm

How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
idk sometimes i can function off of only 3 hours!

Where were you on July 4th?
Florida baby!!

What did you wear today?
O'neills shirt, Mudd jeans, pink and black all stars

TODAY NOVEMBER 1ST 2008.

ME AND MY BFF AMBER WENT TO SEE PANIC AT THE DISCO ALONG WITH THE CAB PLAIN WHITE T'S AND DASHBOAD CONFESSIONAL.

IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOLYMOTHERSHITFUCKER I MET ZACK!!! (PANICS BEASTLY BODY GUARD!)

"ZACK!!!"
"WHAT?"
"CAN I HAVE A HUG?"
"NO"
"AWW =["
"HIGH FIVE"
"OK!!!"
8D *JUMPS UP AD HIGH FIVES WITH MOUTH WIDE OPEN*
*TAKES OUT FONE AND POINTS IT AT ZACK*
"SMILE!"
"NO"
"PLEASE? =["
*ZACK SMIRKS*
*I SNAP PICTURE*
*PHONE GOES BOING*
"DID YOUR FONE JUST GO BOING?"
"YEEEAH"
*LATER*
(ME QUOTING ZACK) "DID YOU PHONE JUST GO BOING... THAT SOUNDS WRONG"
(AMBER)"SOUNDS LIKE A BONER!!"
"ZACK MAKES MY PHONE HORNY!!!"
LAWLS!

"NOT A HEART ATTACK... ZACK ATTACK!!!!"

TAKE MY PANTS OFF AND SHOUT!!!

NOW IT'S YOUR CHANCE TO SCREAM AS LOUD AS YOU CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*RYRO SAYS "A LITTLE BIT SOFTER NOW"?*
*BRENNY GIVES HIM THE SEXIEST SEX CRAZED POUT!!*

*BRENNY SITS AT PIANO*
"AMBER HIS ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

LOTS OF RYDEN ACTION!!!!

(BRENDON) "I NEED YOU GUYS TO DANCE.  I'LL SHOW YOU A COUPLE DANCE MOVES....HERE'S ONE..." *ROCKS HIPS SIDE TO SIDE*
"OH AND HERE'S ANOTHER ONE" *BRENDON DRY HUMPS AIR*

THE CAB AND DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL DID SO WHAT BY PINK!!!

BRENDON LOOOOOOVES TO TORTURE GIRLS.  HE KNOWS HE'S HOT :]

GIRLS YOU MAKE ME WANNA SHOUT!!!

BRENDON URIE IS AN ORGASMIC SEX GOD AND I WILL NOT LIE....AND I PROBABLY.......I DID.

BRENDON PLAYED THE FRIGGIN DRUMS!!!!!!!!!!  HE CAN BANG THOSE THINGS, BABYYYY :]

ill add more later gtg XD BYEZ!!!

Chapter 11

Summer's POV: The door slamed hard as I sat on the ground sobbing. I had to call Brendon. I picked up the phone and dialed his number. "Hey-yo!" Brendon answered. I felt so bad, he sounded so happy and I was about to pour this out on him, but I had to tell someone... "He broke up with me Bren. He fucking broke up with me," I said through sobs. "Oh Summer! Why?"  "I wouldnt use with him. He wanted me to do coke with him and I told him no. So he left. And he hit me Bren. I dont know what to do anymore. I loved him. I LOVE him." I was balling my eyes out and Brendon told me he'd come over.

Brendon's POV: "I have to go, babe. Tyler broke up with Summer. She really needs some one to be there for her." Ryan looked up at me from his guitar. He was working on a new song. "What about Ashley? Why cant she go over. Not that I mind, I'm just woundering." He said smiling. "Ashley doesnt have a car right now. Some drunk hit it in the parking lot. You can hang with her while I'm gone." I kissed him and said good bye and headed to Summer's.

Summers POV: I heard a knock on the door and opened my mouth to talk, but the only thing that came out was more tears. "Summer," i heard through the door. I could tell it was brendon. "Open," was all i could manage to get out. He opened the door and saw me sitting in the corner. He walked over and wrapped his arms around my shaking body. He was so warm against me. I pushed my head into his chest and cried harder. My mascara was running everywhere and i kinda felt bad that i was probably messing up his hoodie.

Brendons POV: She was shaking so hard, and i just wanted her to stop. Everyonce in a while she would let out a whine or say something. Then she started saying his name, tyler, then she would say mine. I poitioned her to where she was basicaly laying down. I kept rubbing my hand over her face and through her hair. I would periodicaly sh her. Finally she fell asleep. I picked her up and brought her to her room. I didnt know what to do from there should i leave her a note or stay there with her. I chose to stay. i just hoped that ashley could entertain ryan. i laughed at myself and sat down in the chair in Summer's room.

Ryan's POV: I sat in my room for a bit.. not really knowing what to do. With out Brendon there with me I didn't really feel like playing my guitar, so i decided to go visit Ashley. I strolled up to room 702 and knocked happily on the door. "Hold on," i heard her voice crack a bit, it sounded like she'd been crying. She opened the door and she was a mess. hair sticking up every which way, masscara and eyeliner smeared all the way down her face, and tear stains all over her white tanktop. "Ashley what happend?" 

Ashley's POV: I felt like shit. i couldnt stand anything i did. I felt so out of myself. And i felt even more pathetic because now ryan was standing here. My hair, room, and heart were a mess. I stoode there looking slightly up at him and i just lugned at him and wrapped my arms around his body. He put his arms around me and just rubbed my back. He then managed to pick me up, close the door, and sit me on the bed. i slowly stopped crying a released ym grip of him. I pulled away and rubbed my eyes with my hands. "Ow," i said.

Ryans POV: She said ow and i looked at her. Her knuckles were ripped and bloody. "Oh my god, ashley what happened?" i asked her concerned even more now. "i did," she replied in a small voice. I looked around the room now realizing the reasons she looked like she did. The mirror was smashed in one place and cracked in others. There was paper from her sketch pads ripped and spread out on the floor. And the drawrs that normaly would hol her clothes neatly were off the tracks and clothes were strewn everywhere. I looked over at her. She had her knees up to her chest and her head burried in them. I could hear he crying harder.

Ashleys POV: I felt ashamed of what i had done. I was in pain now and now i dragged the also unstable Ryan Ross into this too. all of a sudden i felt a warmth around my body. Not only had ryan wrapped a blanket around me, but he had also wrapped his arms around me. I sniffed and said his name and then i said it again then i said "im so sorry."

Ryans POV: I looked down at her. "Why are you sorry. What did you do to me," i asked her. "Because i dragged you into my patheticness, and you dont need that. You are getting happy, especially with Brendon at your side," she sniffled. she was right though i was so happy the happiest i had ever felt, but she was my concern at this moment. "please dont be sorry, ash, we can get you through this," i said trying to hold back my own tears. I felt like deja vu, these were the words i told haley. I wanted this time to be different.

Ashleys POV: I looked up at his now teary eyes. His pupils were huge and beautiful. "i will if you help me," i said quietly. "i promise you,' he said to me. I dont know what happened. Before i knew it my lips were on his. then our tongues were in the action too. he put his hand on my face and it was so warm, but after a few seconds shock set in and i pulled away from him. "Oh my god what have i done," i said breathlessly. then i got up off the bed, and without changing out of my tear and makeup stained clothes, i ran out of the room. And then out of the clinic. I didnt know where i was going, but i wasnt staying there. I had just kissed him and he was taken.

Ryans POV: i watched her run out the door. "What did i do," i whispered to myself. I didnt bother running after her. i knew after past expiriences that Ashley was a fast runner. She could be in another state by tomorrow if she didnt stop. I just sat there. i decided i would at least try to clean up her room. I started with the clothes. Then i went to picking up the papers. After i gathered them up i wanted to know what had happened in her head. The first was a ripped heart. I found the missing part and when put together it was a broken heart and then it read next to it "No one can tape a broken heart." There was a few more with just random sayings, but two stuck out to me. One was a mini drawing of me. next to it it said "Ryro my friend and inspiration." All around this drawing was in different fonts was Ryan or Ryro. Then the next one that caught my eye was a drawing of a pill and razor and it read "what is another way to kill myself where i dont die but i become invisible and no one will know." and underneath that it had my lyric "Take each day at a time" this made me stand up and run out the door and the clinic to find her.

Waiting for your
Call I'm sick
Call I'm angry
Call I'm desperate for your voice
(thats really got nothing to do with him... it was just stuck in my head)
****************************
I have to choke back tears.
My stomache has that feeling again.
I'm shaking in my skin.
I see you after homeroom.
We hug.
Short, nothing special.
I'm sure you don't see my tears.
You turn away so quick.
You say you still love me.
But it hurts to think that...
You choose her, but I'll wait.
My breathing hurts my throat.
I've got chills.
My heart bangs out of my chest.
I try to hide my pain.
She looks so happy.
Of course we're friends,
But she doesn't know how sad I really am.
I'm genuinely happy around you.
My heart races and my cheeks redden.
We talk out side of my class.
We hug again, better then before.
We laugh.
I go into class smiling.
You're there waiting when I come out.
Thank you.
I'm so happy you're there.
You leave fast, but you have to.
My sister's mad.
She thinks I shouldn't like you.
Everyone says that.
I should get over you they say.
But it's not that easy.
I can't.
My heart won't let me,
And I'm happy with that.
But it hurts.
Of course it hurts.
I don't think you love me anymore.
That's what I fear.
I'll wait but...
Will you still love me?
My mind races and I see you again.
After school.
You're with them.
I come over and we talk like normal friends.
You poke me.
I squeal.
You laugh.
I want to cry.
We're so happy, but I'm not.
You walk with her.
No hands held tight.
No arm around her shoulder.
You held my hand.
You had your arm around me.
But you choose her.
We all laugh and you look at me.
I put my head down.
I try to hide my pain once more.
You don't notice.
I leave.
A tear spills down my face.
I'm in my own world now..
In my seat.
On my bus.
I hide in the music.
****************************************
Yep.. That was a lot of what I felt today.
I'm getting better.
It'll take some time to completely heal though.
I'm kind of torturing myself though with music that reminds me of him.
But at least I'm not crying anymore.
Just thinking.
Tell me what you think xoxo