"Fine then, leave! He can have you! I don't care anymore!" I screamed at my boyfriend. "Fine. I will. He's better than you anyway," he said like a little kid, and walked out the door without another word. I screamed in desspiration. He was my life, my everything and now he's left me for another man.
 
   I woke up screaming. I've been having these dreams for the past week now. My boyfriend of 2 years has been acting really odd lately. He's been leaving early saying hes gotten called in early, and when i call the office to make sure he got in safe, they say, "He's not due in until later." He's always been runing earins and acting very nervous around me. I can't think of what else could be happening. 
   "Whats the matter handsome?" He had came into the room after a screamed, "Why were you screaming?"
   "Bad dreams, they won't stop..." I whispered. I knew what was coming next.
   "What are you dreaming about Gee bear?" How was I to answer that? I couldn't tell him that I suspected him of cheating on me..
   "They were coming to get me again, the needles. They were trying to stab me Frankie!" He giggled at my answer but hugged me. There was something loose about this hug though, something off.
   "What's the matter?" I asked. I dont know why, but he seemed very nervous. Why is that? There's that suspision again.
   "N-nothing. Why do you ask?" Nerves.
   "Oh, okay. Just checking." I rolled back over in bed covering my head with the comforter. I didn't like this, he was being to shady.
   "No no no sir. We're going out today!" Oh! Ok? Why? He's making me get out of bed though... sigh. I suppose I'll go. At least I'll get to spend some time with my man before he drops me for whoever.
   "Grr. Fine. I'll be out in a little bit." I got up and went to my closet... hmm. What to wear? This very well may be the day my man leaves me for someone else. So shall I dress for his regret, or for my pain? His regret deffinitly. I put on the TIGHEST pair of jeans I own and my best shirt. I went into the bathroom and did my makeup best as I could and made my hair look perfect. I sound like such a girl, but I wanted him to regret what he was about to do to me.
   Once I got down stairs his mouth fell open. Bingo. Regret. I'm oddly liking this. "Wow, Gerard. You look great." He choked out. I simply smiled at him and he took my arm. "We're going to the park today."
   Oh fun. He dumps me at the very place he met me... I wonder if the other guy is waiting for him there. "Okay sounds great, babe." I kissed him lightly on the cheek and felt these fucking tears well up in my eyes. No. You are not crying. He's about to do something terrible to you.
   We walked arm and arm all the way to the park and sat on the bench where we used to hang out in high school. We always liked each other, but we only stared going out after we graduated. The day he asked me out had been the best day of my life.

   I'd gotten a note from Frankie on my doorstep today:
              Meet me at the bench @ 6. ~Frank
   I re-read it over and over again as I sat on the uncomfortable wood bench where we've sat together so many times. I studied his hand writing the loops of his "e"s and the way the ink seeped into the page. 
  I've liked Frank ever since I met him in 1st grade. Mrs. Farret's class. I sat behind him and was always mesmerized by the back of his head, that and the fact that he was the only one with the 72 pack of crayons! (Those things were the shit!)
  I lifted my head and saw him walking towards me, the sunshine radiating around him from behind. He looked like an absolute angel. I stood up to greet him with a hug and we sat down together.
   "So, what's up?" I asked nervously, intimidated by his looks as I always was.
   "Well.. um... I wanted to ask you some thing," he smiled slightly.
   "Shoot." My voice trembled and my heart beat a thousand times faster than it should. Could this be what I've been waiting for?
   He took a deep breath before words poured uncomprehsivly from his mouth, "Willyougooutwithme?" I tilted my head to the side in confusion. He cleared his throat and said each word as a seperate sentence, "Will. You. Go. Out. With. Me?" 
   I sqealed. Litterally. I jumped up and tackled him right there on the bench and kissed him sweetly. I pulled back giggling.
   "I guess thats a yes?" he smiled staring into my eyes.
   "YES!" I laughed kissing him again.

   My stomache churned as the memory went through my head.
   He took a big breath in and turned to me. Here it comes. "Gerard, I've known you since I was very young and I've loved you for as long as I can remember. And today is our aniversery, but.." I crossed my arms and closed my eyes. Just say it!
   "Listen Frank, why dont you ju-," I opened my eyes and he was down infront of me on one knee.
   "Gerard Arthur Way? I have a question.. Will... you marry me?" I started to cry, but in a good way.
   "Oh Frank! Of course I'll marry you!" He sliped the ring on my finger, tears in his own eyes. He stood up and kissed me in the most passionate way. He held my hand tight and pulled me up from the bench and we headed back home.
  We took the long way, all the way through the park. Tears never left my eyes, I've never been happier in my life.

Even if it kills me
By me (panicfanatic0421) and my BFF Ashley!!(panicfanatic320)

Chapter 20

Brendon's POV: Ryan pulled in at our house not even taking the time to park properly. We all helped carry in the multiple bags of goodies. I ran down to the basement puling out old flashing and bright lights, a stobe, and a fog machine. "Its gonna be like a rave with candy instead of drugs!" Ry smiled at me. God his smile was gorgeous. I leaned in and kissed him lightly as Ashley let out a huge "Awwwhh!!!"

Ryan's POV: My cheeks began burning red and Bren stuck his tongue out at her. She just shrugged and walked over to the stereo. I followed right behind her as to approve of the party music. She went searching through all the cds. I sneeked in my copy of Hot Mes, turned the volue all the way up, and pressed play. Ashley nearly jumped out of her skin when the speakers began booming next to her head. Suddenly i felt two large hands on my hips and I swear I melted. He pulled me close to him and I decided I was going to have some fun. I slowly started grinding my hips rubbing my ass up against him.

Brendon's POV: I had to use all my strength to not let a moan slip through my lips. I held him tight against my moving my hips with his as the energy between us hightened. Ashley giggled at us and ran up stairs to call some friends to come. Ry turned around to face me and i grinded up close to him blushing. The music boomed through the room and I felt the bass in my chest, it made it all more exciting. I grabbed his ass pulling him closer and he let his head fall back in pleasure. Once his head ruturned to facing me, I let my lips meet his passionatly.

Ryan's POV: Brendons warm full lips felt so right on my thin ones. I opened my mouth, inviting him in. our tungues danced as heatedly as our bodys. Just as it was getting good the door bell went off repeatedly before people piled in. I never knew we had this many friends until now. We pulled apart reluctantly and greeted our friends. Everyone was happy to see us.

Ashley's POV: Damn those two look adorable together. It would be insane to think that they werent in love. I watched them roam around the room and i saw a weird bump in brendons pocket. Oh my god. Is that a... ring box!? Serious!? Without thinking I let out a huge "Awwwwhhh!!" and everyone looked at me. "theyre just so cute!" i smiled back. some people looked at me funny, some giggled, and others agreed with me. I sighed quietly feeling kinda jelous. then i felt a slight tap on my shoulder. I turned around seeing Jersey blushing holding out his hand. I smiled and took his hand in mine feeling my cheeks burn hot.

Brendons POV: Me and ryan looked over at ashley dancing with Jersey, they looked so cute together. I wishpered in Cassadee's ear to pass on the everyone to "awh" on the count of three. "1!, 2!, 3!" I yelled and the whole room erupted in a group "AWH" around the cute new couple. I giggled and turned my eyes back to ryan smiling big. I think its the right time now.. I dropped down to my knee looking up at him. Slowly I pulled the small velvet box from my pocket. I opened it exposing the diamond ring and held it up to him. "George Ryan Ross, Im in love with you. I want to spend the rest of forever with you. Will you marry me?"

Ryan's POV: I didnt know whether to squeel, or cry, all i know is i all but screamed "YES!" after the initial shock passed. He came up off his knee and pulled me close enough to feel his heart and we kissed more passionatly than we ever have. I pulled back breathless. "I fucking love you" i giggled happily. And... I guess you could say we lived happily ever after.

THE END!!!!!!!!!

I reeeeeeeeally hope you loved this! im gonna post a one-shot tomorrow. I hope you like :]

Even if it kills me
By me (panicfanatic0421) and my BFF Ashley!!(panicfanatic320)

Chapter 19

Brendon's POV: Ryan pulled away, and I knew he was right. We can go to the supermarket pick-maybe pickup Ashley. We got in the car and drove off. Next thing I knew we pulled up at Ashley's house in the pouring rain. She was standing on her porch in a black rain coat, rain hat, and rain boots.  It was funny to see a 20 year old girl in an outfit that would normally be for little girls. I couldn't help but laugh, and Ryan joined in.

Ryan's POV: "Whats so funny?" She asked quite calmly as she got in the back of the car. "You look like a five year old!" Bren laughed. "Oh shut up!! I think I looks cute." She crossesd her arms across her chest and stuck her tougne out. "You look very cute Ash. Now all you need is some piggy tails!!!" She gave me the death glare and I looked back at the street pulling away from the house. A huge bolt of lightning appeared in the sky and both Ashley and Brendon were looking out at the sky in excitment. Wow my frineds are nuts.

Ashley's POV: I swear, these boys could drain the world of red bull and poptarts. I watched a Ryan scooped just about every box of chocolate chip poptarts off the shelf and into the cart that was already half full with boxes of red bull. "Dude, how are you gonna eat all those!?" I asked and they looked at me with crazed smiles. "Oh, we will!!!" Brendon said before rolling the cart off towards the candy section. I, on the other hand, headed over to the magazin rack to get the new issue of AP.

Brendon's POV: I piled all the gummi candy I could into the cart and Ryan stared, kind of confused. "What is it Ry??" I asked wondering what could be so confusing about candy."How we gonna pay for all this?" he asked and I smiled and pulled a wad of cash out of my pocket. "Christmases, birthdays, and all that. Saving money really pays off." I wasn't about to tell him that I had sold my collection of modle cars to go shopping with. I smiled big at him and we went to check out. It all came to about $150 and the cashier gave us a mean look the whole time she rang us up. Me and Ryan just had huge smiles on our faces.

Ryan's POV: We ran out into the rain with the cart and piled every thing into the trunk. I got into the drivers seat and Brendon got in beside me, then I realized... we forgot Ashley. I drove up to the store to find her standing there in her rain coat with one small bag clutched in her hand. She got in and crossed her arms, "Geez, just forget about me why don't ya!" She smiled and we all started to laugh. This is gonna be a fun day.

i had to put the pic on here cuz idk how to save those things.. idek if itll show up but... its the PATD drum line xD

HAD to edit this.. some of it didnt make sense from typos haha!!

Even if it kills me
By me (panicfanatic0421) and my BFF Ashley!!(panicfanatic320)

Chapter 18 ***WARNING--- "CONTENT"

Brendon's POV: He knew how to make me crack. He got the movements perfect, and made me want more. Then when I wrapped my arms around his waist, that did it. I kept hammering into him harder and faster, making his breathing quicken and taking mine away. I pressed down a few more times and I could feel his entire body tighten, including his ass. This made me push into him even harder. "Bren,i-i-im GONNA,” he cut off and screamed and moaned at the top of his lungs. I joined in as my body felt what was happening.
 
Ryan's POV: I shot my hot cum all over him, feeling kinda guilty at first until felt his arms tense around my waist, then felt a rush of heat hit inside of me. I leaned over onto him, tired and so very happy. He kissed me lightly and helped me off of him. He layed us down on a pillow, that had wound up on the floor. He slid my back closer to him. Leaving just enough room for him to run his hot smooth fingers up and down my bare back. He started to hum softly, lulling me into a very joyous sleep. Still feeling the warmth and love coming off of his sexy body.

Brendon's POV: I woke up to the soothing sound of Ryan's light breathing. I noticed I was naked and instantly felt my cheeks go red. I don't know why, no one else was there, just me and Ryan. Damn, he looks so cute fast asleep. All of the sudden a loud snore came from him that scared me backwards off the bed. I feel on my ass with a huge 'THUD'. "Fuck," I whispered, eyes closed rubbing my butt. I opened my eyes to see Ryan staring down at me. I instantly felt the heat in my cheeks again as I stood up quickly.

Ryan's POV: I wasn't about to tell him that I did that on porpuse. I giggled lightly as he rubbed his butt with a disgruntled {heehee big word!} look on his face. "Aww, Bren. Did you go boom?" I laughed. "Shut your pretty little face up," he smiled. I took his hand and pulled him up onto the bed. He quickly pulled the covers over himself and I laughed at his shyness. "So what are we going to do today Mr. Urie?" I asked through the smile that seemed to be glued to my face. "Well, Mr. Ross, I thought maybe you, Ashley, and I could have an all out video-game-junk-food-par-tay!"

Brendon's POV: I thought a party would be great to make every one happier. I knew it would take my mind off of things for a while. "Sure Mr. Urie! Would you like to accompany me on the great journey to the super market?" He had this huge goofy smile on his face that made me melt. "Ok, only if I can get dressed first!!" I jumped up and went to dress myself for todays great 'adventure!'

Gettin to the end of where i wrote... need to write more sooon!
__________________________________________________________

Even if it kills me
By me (panicfanatic0421) and my BFF Ashley!!(panicfanatic320)

Chapter 17 ***WARNING--- "CONTENT"

Brendon's POV: We had gotten to leave the clinic for about a week... some kind of experiment i dont know. But it made me happy. Ashley dropped me and Ry off at my house and we said bye to her. We went in the house and I grabbed us each some ice cream. "Go sit on the sofa and we can watch a movie." I said holding the ice cream up so he could see it. He smiled big and scurried over to sit down and began to watch Aladin. I laughed at him and placed his bowl in his lap, lightly brushing his upper leg with the back of my hand. He twitched at my touch and I tried not to giggle.

Ryan's POV: Shit. Now im horny. Not that i have a problem with that, maybe he is too. I smirked to myself and began to slowly eat my ice cream. I looked over at brendon who hadnt really paid attention to my attempt at being seductive, he had ice cream all over his face and I couldnt help but laugh. "What?" he asked, and i smirked. "Here, let me help you with that," I leaned over to him and licked the ice cream off his cheeks and nose before kissing him passionitly. He kissed back and we both threw our ice cream bowls on the ground. In a second I was laying down on the sofa with him on top of me, our lips still conected. I wrapped my arms around his waist and his hands began to pull my shirt up over my head.

Brendon's POV: His skin, like always, was soft and hot. I kissed his chest lightly. Leaving a sticky mark of ice cream in the shape of my lips. Ryan giggled lightly to himself. I looked up to him and he slid his hand softly through his beautiful hair. This made me sigh. The breeze against his skin gave him goose bumps. I scooted back up to him and nibbled at his neck lightly. “I love you,” he whispered shyly in my ear. I pulled myself away from him and held myself up over him. “and I love you,” I said. I pushed back into a kiss and I felt his tongue find its way into my mouth. As our tongues danced around he started to work my belt off.

Ryan's POV: I pulled away, as best as I good, and from underneath him I undid his belt. I looked up to him and seductively bit my lip. I felt his pelvis grind into me with a low moan building in his throat. This made me feel my pants tent higher. I slowly slid his belt out as if to tease him. As I did this he closed his eyes and groaned my name lowly. When the belt was removed, I went to work on his buttons, but he had another plan. He almost ripped open my own jeans with one motion of his hand. As his hand ran across my boxers I felt this need building in me.

Brendon's POV: I didn’t have any fucking clue what came over me. Maybe it was the love, or maybe even the lust, but whatever it was, I felt it. Before I knew it he was fully undressed with me still clothed in full. He pulled off my shirt and threw it to the floor. He connected my lips to his one more and I felt him moan into my mouth. Still kissing, he slowly slid his hands onto the sides of my hips, and then sliding them under the waistband of my jeans. He slid them off of me without even coming close to losing grip on my lips. He then wriggled me out of my boxers. I was now making out with an amazing person, completely naked, and also loving me. I was in pure elation.

Ryan's POV: He finally was undressed and laying on top of me. We were hot sticky and sweaty, but I really don't think he or myself minded much. It was only making me hornier. I wrapped my arms around his neck and started to run my fingers down his back. I started at his neck slowly moving to his spine then to his hips then finally to his ass. It was so soft and so amazing. This made bren buck his pelvis into mine, Pulling our lips away from each other immediately. He looked down at me and had a look in his eyes. Part of me wanted to jump into them and another part of me wanted to tie him up and…well you get the picture.

Brendon's POV:  I rubbed my hands down his chest just slowly enough to make him groan. He looked up at me in a longing way. “I want you,” he mouthed to me. Then he turned me over with all of his forces. He was now on top. I closed my eyes anticipating the pleasure to come. I suddenly felt a hot wave shoot over my cock. He moaned and panted and kept on sucking. It was making me hot and jealous. I wanted some too. He started getting faster and deeper, and I started to push into his mouth in a rythmic pattern. He felt me get close and slowly slid off of me. Licking his lips he said, “your turn.”

Here it is. Unedited (cuz im lazy and tired and had coffee but caffine DOESN'T HELP ME!) in its original form of AWESOMENESS CHAPTER 16!!

Ight I love you all!!! <3333 XOXO-SUMMER
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Even if it kills me
By me (panicfanatic0421) and my BFF Ashley!!(panicfanatic320)

Chapter 16

Even if it kills me
By me (panicfanatic0421) and my BFF Ashley!!(panicfanatic320)

Chapter 15

Brendon's POV: I stood looking in the mirror. I wiped the lint of my suit jaket and ran my hand through my gelled back hair. I felt the sting of tears then hot steams down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away and felt Ryans arms snake around my waist. He put his head on my shoulder and kissed my neck. He looked amazing beautiful, all dressed up. Another tear fell from my eye and he kissed it softly. "It's okay baby. She's in a better place now." I knew that. Everyone said that. That's all I've heard, but she was my best friend besides Ryan. I miss her. I wanted to punch the asshole that broke her heart. She was staying clean and healthy and he just wanted a high buddy and a good fuck. That son of a bitch.

Ryan's POV: After picking up Ashley, we got into the car and headed off. We got to the funeral and Brendon started crying more. "Shh, baby. Its ok." I kept telling him, even though I knew it wasn't. We were all crying, we all knew that nothing was fine. We got out of the car and headed to our seats in the front. Everyone was crying or praying. The coffin lay open on a table in the front of everyone. Brendon was crying into my shoulder as I tried to suppress tears, to stay strong, for him. Ashley was on the other side of me holding my hand and crying as well. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I started crying as well. Then I saw a tall boy in a hoodie with a beer in hand, walk up to the coffin smirking.

Brendon's POV: Tyler. Tyler stood looking at her, smiling. That son of a BITCH! I stood up wiping the tears from my eyes and raging towards him. I spun him aroung by the shoulder and threw my fist straight into his nose. Blood splattered all over my knouckles and his face. It took him a minute to get back up but he did. Before I could get at him again, I felt a fist slam into my cheek. "Stupid fag," he said as I fell back. "Oh you mother fucker." I got up fast and tackled him to the ground. I sat on him and just kept punching him. I wanted him to die. I wanted him to fucking die. Then I felt two familiar arms pulling me off of the piece of shit laying on the ground, now bleeding and cowering.

Ryan's POV: I pulled a histerical Brendon off of the douche bag. The guests at the funeral were all staring at the scene. Tyler was laying on the floor uconsious but still breathing. I sat me and Brendon down on the platform that the coffin was on. He fell into my chest blood running everywhere, but I didnt care. I just sat there and rubbed his back, "Shh, it's ok," I lied over and over almost convincing myself it was true. He tightened his grip around my waist and he cried harder. I tried to again keep back the tears0, but who was I kidding? The heat rushed down my face as I leaned my body over Brendon crying too.

Ashley's POV: I watched from my chair Ryan and Brendon breaking down. I rubbed my bandaged arms and looked down at the ground. I was apart of this mess, but for once, I didn't think how I could invent a new easier way of killing myself. Instead I stood up and walked over to Ryan and Brendon and grabbed both of their hands. They both looked up at me, soaked in blood and tears. "Lets clean you two up and come back later to say goodbye to her," I whispered softly to them. They shook their heads in agreeance. We stood up and walked off slowly to the car.

Brendon's POV: As we walked back Ryan still had a comforting grip on my waist. I felt light headed cause of the blood I had lost and I felt tired cause I beat the living shit out of that asshole. I kept my head nustled in Ryan's chest and I grabbed his free hand with mine. We entertwined our fingers and I felt a tear fall on my hand. Only this time when I looked at Ryan it wasn't him. That was when the rain started to fall. They say that when rain falls, it washes away your troubles. It didn't today, but man did it feel good on my face.

Even if it kills me
By me (panicfanatic0421) and my BFF Ashley!!(panicfanatic320)

Chapter 14 (long chapter my loverlys!)

Brendon's POV: I stood up and got my phone. I opened it and put it to my ear figuring it would be Summer. "Hey-yo!" I said happily. Some man with a very official sounding voice said, "Mr. Brendon Urie?" "Yeah?" I asked now concered. "Im sorry, but Summer was found dead on her bed today. She died of over dose." I hung up. I couldn't believe it. I broke. I started crying so hard and Ryan tried to ask me what was wrong, but I couldnt answer. I fell to the ground and cried into my hands. Why'd she have to go and do that? I was sobbing now and Ryan just came and sat with me. He didn't try and ask me whats wrong, he just held me close as I cried on his shoulder.

Ryan's POV: It was killing me to see him like this, but I just had to try and calm him down. "Shhh, Bren. I'm here. Shhh." I didnt know what to say. I couldn't ask him what was wrong until he calmed down. He soon stopped crying and told me what had happened, "She died Ry. She killed herself. All because of that stupid cunt Tyler. Ryan... she's dead!" He started sobbing again as I started crying. A few moments later a nurse walked in.